Pages

I'M PREGNANT!!! I'M PREGNANT!!! I'M PREGNANT!!! I'M PREGNANT!!!

And breathe.....it feels good to let that out....and more on breathing in the coming weeks!!

Contact me by emailing theeasybit@hotmail.co.uk



Tuesday 21 September 2010

Why I wanted Down's screening

When I was asked by the midwife which tests I wanted I basically just said 'yes to all of the above' without giving it much more thought than that. It was only when I was talking to a close friend who is also pregnant that it occurred to me that not everyone would do the same.  In fact she had opted to not have Downs screening on the basis that she wouldn't abort the baby whether it had Downs or not.  I suppose you could see that opinion as admirable but I also think that it's a bit short-sighted.  Not that I should criticise because I hadn't felt the need to give the subject a great deal of thought myself at that point.

However, I had said yes and so it was part of my 12 week scan. It forced me to think about why I wanted the tests and what I would do with the results.  For those of you that don't know the process, the first part of the test is to establish if you are high risk or low risk.  That is done by measuring the fluid at the back of the baby's neck via ultrasound.  They also take some of your blood and with the fluid measurement and the blood they are able to say if your risk is high or low.  If it is high there are further tests available which are considerably more intrusive, painful and risky in terms of potential miscarriage.  Again you are told what the chances are of your baby having downs syndrome rather than a definitive yes or no.  So the first stage is a piece of cake but the second is a serious decision which still only calculates your odds.

So I had the first stage done and spent spent some time considering deeply what I would do if the results came back as high risk.  It's not a decision to take lightly and everyone is entitled to their own opinion on it depending on their particular circumstances.  For me, I wouldn't consider aborting my baby even if it did have a high chance of having Downs but I would have wanted to educate and prepare myself properly.  I know nothing about caring for a baby (or child) with special needs and I wouldn't want to try and cope with that at the same time as learning how to deal with a new born.  I'm sure that those first few months are going to be hard enough as it is.  I also decided that if the first stage tests came back as high risk, I wasn't prepared to go through the second round of intrusive tests which would risk my baby. 

I felt very happy with my decision and then just had to wait for that letter to arrive.  I had been told that I'd get a phone call within a week if I was high risk or a letter within three weeks if I was low risk.  Remarkably, I got a letter three days later (wel done NHS!!) and was delighted to see LOW RISK.  According to my age and history (not sure what they mean by history) my risk factor was around 1:600 that I would have a Downs baby but after the testing that figure has changed to 1:13500. 

I'm so pleased that I had the tests done!  I know, being the type that I am, that this would have been at the back of my mind for 9 months if I had decided to decline the tests.  This way I have complete peace of mind and I don't have to do a whole lot of unnecessary studying!  Let me be clear though - this was the right decision for me and I would never consider someone in the wrong for deciding to do things differently.  Whenever something scares me (like my endometriosis or my mum's bowel cancer) my way of coping is to learn as much as possible but I am fully aware that makes some people feel worse rather than better.   

Friday 17 September 2010

My poor bum!!

Thanks to the endometriosis I've had for years, I've suffered more than my fair share at the hands of constipation and diarrhea.  But pregnancy constipation is a whole other matter!  For the last two months, I've struggled to 'go' more than once a week.  I had a brief spell when it went up to twice a week, which certainly made my life a bit easier, but it seems that I'm back to square one at the moment.

For someone who goes on a daily basis when things are in full working order, this once a week business just isn't enough.  My insides end up feeling incredibly clogged up and solid and, when I do finally go, it's agony.  Today it felt like giving birth without the dilation or drugs!!  Of course, that's a bit of an exaggeration but it's natural to push and strain when you're giving birth.  That's against the rules when you're going to the loo unless you're prepared to risk haemorrhoids! 

I'm going food shopping tonight and will be looking for even more ways of squeezing some extra fibre into my diet!

Thursday 16 September 2010

The top 12 benefits of expecting

I thought I would write this in case anyone thinks I am being ungrateful and whiny about being pregnant!  With all my talk of fatigue, supersonic sense of smell and being denied rare meat, I suppose my readers could be forgiven for thinking that I'm not as enthusiastic as I could be!

So here are the top 12 benefits of expecting a baby in my opinion:-

1) The biggest and most obvious has to be that in nine months you'll have a baby to love, adore and brag about.  Such a massive benefit that I don't think anything else needs to be said.

2) All that shopping - not only for things that the baby needs but also for maternity clothes.  Now I appreciate that if you're having financial problems you might not see this as a benefit but I can't wait to get spending!  For my birthday I asked for vouchers so the maternity clothes shopping starts this weekend - woo hoo!  We're still holding off on buying any baby stuff until we know what sex we're having so there's another couple of months of saving before that pleasure starts (although we have already been window shopping to see roughly how much money we'll need).

3) My husband catering to my every whim has to be high on the list!  Not that he wasn't adorable before but he is particularly good for running to the shop depending on what 'baby' is demanding I eat at any particular point in time.  For example, the ice lolly run last week, or the cracker run a month or so ago.

4) I've always enjoyed reading and now I can indulge my hobby with all sorts of baby books.  After my scan on Tuesday, I spent most of the day reading What to Expect When You're Expecting: Fourth Edition which I thought was a really well written and informative book.  It was recommended to me by a friend and I would be happy to pass that recommendation on as well since I enjoyed it more than other pregnancy books I've read.

5) Doing less chores - not only is my husband having to run to the shops for me but he also has to do more cooking and cleaning now thanks to my fatigue.  I'm not at the point of milking it yet - I genuinely need more help from him - but I imagine I won't be able to resist asking him to do things which I am perfectly capable of doing myself at some point!

6) I'm really enjoying talking to other pregnant ladies and mums.  This group of women, who I used to not be able to relate to, are now a wealth of useful and interesting information.  I used to do my best talking to them but I was regularly jealous of their pregnancies and children and found it very hard stay focused on what was going on with them.  But now I can waffle on for hours in a way which some other women would find incredibly tedious!

7) No periods!!!  As someone who has had endometriosis repeat on them several times over the last 10 years, this is a massive benefit for me.  I've had surgery 7 times during those 10 years and it's great to know that I have at least another 6 months of being pain and surgery free.  

8) I might not be that far along but I can already see that my hair is thicker and glossier.  I know that it'll thin out once I give birth but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts!

9) Seeing any gain on the scales as a good thing! I lost 7lbs during my sickness and nausea spell and since then I have gained 4 of them back.  I seem to go 2lbs higher each time my period is due but, unlike when I actually have a period, those 2lbs don't vanish again once my period is over.  I know that this rate will pick up as I get further along and, at the moment at least, I am looking forward to it. 
  
10) My eczema has cleared up.  When I first got pregnant it flared up quite badly but now it has settled down again and is much better than it's been for a long time.


11) My nails are growing so much quicker and stronger than they ever have before.  It makes it harder to type and text but looks really nice!  I think I'll treat myself to some manicures as my pregnancy progresses. 

12) It's something I've not done since my school days but I've really enjoyed knitting since I found out I'm pregnant.  It's lovely to be doing something which I know is for my baby and which he or she will hopefully cherish as a reminder of their childhood.  So far, I'm just working on a blanket but I'll definitely be more adventurous once I know what sex we're having.  And there are some great designs out there even if they are cute and silly - check these adorable booties out http://www.knittingonthenet.com/patterns/slipperchick.htm 

Wednesday 15 September 2010

The best birthday present.....EVER!!!

Yesterday was not only my birthday but my 12 week scan and it was absolutely amazing!!  By far, the best present that money can buy!

I had a scan at 7 weeks just to make sure that everything was going ok because I couldn't bear the idea of having to wait 12 weeks (I've never been very good at suspense because I have an overactive imagination and am very capable of thinking the worst for no apparent reason).  The scan was enjoyable because we got to see the heart beating away but the baby just looked like a cashew nut so it was hard to get overly excited about it.   

But yesterday, the moment the ultrasound was in place, we could see the baby waving his or her arms and feet around and bouncing about in there.  It was absolutely incredible and I really wish that I could afford my own ultrasound machine so that I could look at the baby every day!

I'm starting to get my head round the idea that I'm actually going to have a baby now!!  I'd been struggling to believe that I was pregnant never mind starting to grasp the idea that there's going to be a baby in 6 months' time.  That might sound silly but we had such a hard journey getting this far that we'd started to think that it was never going to happen for us.  We'd even started to plan how we could have a fulfilling life without having children of our own but now all of our dreams are coming true. 

I'm so happy to have this little miracle growing inside of me.  It makes all of the fatigue, sickness, smelly breath and well-done steaks more than worthwhile!


Scan 12-4

Scan 7-3



Scan 12-4


Monday 13 September 2010

How would you feel if someone dangled a bear in your face?

I've been watching lots of baby shows and, for a first time mum to be, they have been quite educational in some ways and have certainly made me think about how I will handle particular situations.  But I have been really quite shocked and angry by how some of the parents behave with their pets once the baby has been bought home.  As an owner of 3 cats, I understand how pets can feel like part of the family and you can think that you know them very well.  However you really can't assume that you'll know how your pets are going to react to a new baby, especially if it's the first one in the household.

I've been astonished and furious after seeing people dangling their cat over the baby - close enough for the cat to scratch the baby's face should it be so inclined and one cry from the baby and who knows for sure how a shocked cat is going to react.  I've seen other cats allowed to sleep on changing tables and in cots - I wonder how they'll react when the baby steals their new nest? 

Never mind dogs licking the baby's face or being allowed to wake the baby up.  You might know that your soppy dog wouldn't harm a fly but how do you think your baby is supposed to know that? (never mind the fact that lots of dog attacks are done by dogs which have never behaved aggressively before according to their faithful owners).  One surprising use of a dog when it comes to child care was seeing the baby's sick being cleaned up by the dog - and no, not with a mop and bucket.  Gross but, I guess, practical.   

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have pets but I really think that some of the parents featured on these shows need to think things through a little bit more, particularly in the sense of how your pet appears from your baby's point of view and how your pet might feel about the new addition who is stealing all the attention from them. 

I know that our cats are going to be cheesed off that they will be getting less attention in the early days, particularly Luke who is a real mummy's boy.  Fortunately they always get scared away by having people over so I'm sure we'll be given some space to start off with and they won't be allowed in the bedrooms at all.  Despite what some people think, it is possible to train cats and we'll be starting early so that they know some of the boundaries in advance.

So when does 2nd tri actually start??

I thought that this was a really simple question but I've been given 3 different answers!! 

I previously thought it was the end of the 13 week - so 14-0.  But I subscribe to http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ and each week they send me an email saying what stage I am at based on the first day of my last menstrual cycle.  The email I received today says that I am already in 2nd tri and I am 12 weeks 3 days today (or in my 13th week). 

I did some googling and the answer seems to be different on each of the websites I look at!  Ultimately it doesn't make much difference except in perception - the rate of miscarriage drops massively once you are in 2nd tri so it's a big milestone for most women and one that I have been anticipating.  I think it deserves some celebratory chocolate at least! 

What do you think?  Does 2nd tri start at 12, 13 or 14 weeks?

Thanks very much!!

Sunday 12 September 2010

Has something died in your mouth??? Eeewwwww

On Saturday night my husband and I stayed with some family and friends and it was the first night my husband has got drunk since I got pregnant (obviously I didn't join him for the indulgence even though it was my birthday that was being celebrated!)

Now I've had a few issues with my husband's breath over the last few months because he is a smoker and I find the smell of stale smoke absolutely repulsive.  It never used to be an issue but because of my current supersonic sense of smell it has become quite a major one now - to the point where I've had nights where I've wafted the bedroom door just to clear the smell of his breathe out of the room and he is sick of being offered mints and breath fresheners.  Just to clarify, brushing his teeth is the last thing he does before he comes to bed but I can still, somehow, smell that smoke. 

But this weekend his breathe truly reached a record low.  The combination of lager, wine and cigarettes made the whiff in the bedroom completely unbearable.  Add in the lager sweats, snoring and talking in his sleep and it was a very restless night for me.  I went to bed at 23:30 but didn't get to sleep until around 2:00.  I slept really lightly and woke up at 6:30.  For someone who has regularly been sleeping 12 hours a night, 4.5 is nowhere near enough and I'm really suffering for it today.  I managed an hour nap but I think I'll be on for a sleep marathon tonight (and I might just do it in the guest bedroom so that there is no chance of being disturbed!!)

It makes me feel really bad criticising my husband - no one wants to be told repeatedly that they're a stinky beast - so I'll say it here to get it off my chest. 

Darling husband, please stop yawning, talking or even breathing in my general direction until you've sorted yourself out!!  Brush your teeth 10 times a day if need be, stop smoking and drinking and remove all of the dead animals which must be hiding in there - I seriously don't see how smoking and drinking alone can make you smell like a decomposing corpse!  Oh, and just to be completely clear - no, there's no chance that you're getting any sex when it's hard for me to just be in the same room! 

I think it's going to be a long time before he drinks again!! 

Friday 10 September 2010

I'm blaming it on the hormones

I probably shouldn't admit this but I've been a Big Brother fan since the first series and it has interfered with my summers for 11 years now.  Things were made considerably easier by the birth of Sky Plus since I can record it and watch it at my leisure rather than having to dominate the TV at the same time every night for months on end - my poor, long suffering husband (although he seems to be getting his revenge with Call of Duty at the moment).

Sad and pathetic as I know it is, I couldn't help but well up watching Davina say her goodbyes to the Ultimate housemates during last night's show.  The letters from her and her task which went with it was quite boring viewing in my opinion but seeing her get choked up made me very glad that I was watching the program on my own and it became almost unbearable when the housemates stood in a circle and sang along to 'Never Forget' by Take That.  Normally I would find that moment unbearable due to the choice of song so all I can assume is that I had a fresh bout of pregnancy hormones - well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

Thursday 9 September 2010

No sheep required!

I always used to struggle to get off to the land of slumber what with work, money, relationships etc coming to the forefront of my mind as soon as there was some quiet time.  Well no more, in fact, it's quite the opposite nowadays. 

I'd heard that tiredness could be a problem during the 1st and 3rd trimesters but this is just getting ridiculous!  Since week 5, I've been sleeping 12 hours a night when I used to be more than happy with an average of 8.  During the 12 hours that I am awake, I feel like the walking dead so I may as well be asleep for the amount that I'm actually getting done.  Daring to go food shopping results in at least an hour nap at the end of it.  A trip to the swimming pool resulted in a full day on the sofa the following day.

And my poor husband - he doesn't know what's hit him with the amount of cleaning and cooking he's expected to do now, never mind the fact that I can barely get 2 hours' work done before I'm dosing off at my desk so he's having to work harder to get the bills paid each month.  In fairness, he doesn't have to grow a baby or give birth to it so he's still got the easier job which he is doing without complaint.

Being the type of person I am, I've searched on the internet for tips on how to deal with the fatigue and, quite honestly, the solutions seem pretty useless for me. 

1) Nap whenever you can - But this doesn't actually help me get any work done.  I'm never at my best in the mornings and napping just makes the whole day feel like the morning.  Don't get me wrong, naps can happen when I least expect it but sleeping more doesn't actually help me achieve anything. 
2) Eat little and often - Who has the energy to cook?  Or even to get off the sofa and go and get some nuts!  Furthermore, the smell of the fridge, the bin, the kitchen, seemingly anything, sets off the nausea and then there's nothing that I can stomach eating anyway (massive thanks to the inventors of ice-lollies though!!)
3) Exercise everyday - I can only assume that this was suggested by a man who knows the theory but has no idea of reality!  Maybe that's harsh but, for me at least, I feel as though I've done a workout just from pushing the vacuum round, doing the food shopping or cleaning the bathroom - and all of those jobs could do with some more of my time and attention at the moment so exercising just doesn't get a look in.  I did have one weekend with an energy burst when I managed to go round a Maize Maze but that's about as good as it gets and I was completely useless the next day!!

Apparently it should all get better in 2nd tri so I'm counting down those last few weeks and trying not to think about the fact that 3rd tri is going to be back to the same but worse!  Never mind how hard it'll be once I actually have a child to care for! - it's much too intimidating to think that far ahead!

Wednesday 8 September 2010

My meaty frustration

A beautifully cooked rare piece of Scottish fillet steak with stilton sauce has long been one of my favourite meals (I'm drooling just thinking about it now).  But pregnant women of today all know that rare steak is completely taboo although I'm sure that you'd only have to go back 20/30 years to find women breaking this and many more of 'the rules' which todays mums to be have to follow.  The mums from that generation frequently smoked and drank alcohol throughout their pregnancies, and wouldn't have considered giving up rare steak, pate, runny eggs etc etc and many of life's other pleasures like hot baths.  Give it another 20 years and I imagine there'll be hundreds of extra rules for those poor mums.

Look at the guidance on the Food Standards Agency website or the NHS website and they make it quite clear that all meat needs to be cooked thoroughly so it sounds like a fairly straight forwards rule.  However I was very surprised to see in my NHS issued 'The Pregnancy Book' the following advice:-

'It's fine to eat steaks and other whole cuts of beef and lamb rare, as long as the outside has been properly cooked or sealed'

A complete contradiction to the advice on their website and a matter of massive excitement in this household!!  Being a very sensible and wary sort of person, I didn't through caution to the wind and run out for the largest piece of steak I could find.  Instead, I texted (how modern!) my midwife for her advice and she said that she wouldn't eat it rare, I should stick to the safe side and have it well done.  Which is, as far as I'm concerned, a waste of a nice piece of meat.  I would prefer to abstain completely than ruin something which has the potential to be divine. 

I've done some further research since then but all I seem to be able to find is individual's opinions on the subject rather than any actual research, facts or statistics.  The women seem to be split in to two camps; it's not worth the risk and abstaining shouldn't be hard for 9 months or all of the bacteria are on the outside and will be killed by searing the steak so go for it. 

So I feel like I have to make my decision based on other people's opinions rather than on actual facts and it's really quite a hard one.  Of course I don't want to risk any problems with my baby but I also don't want to wrap myself up in cotton wool and be annoyingly overprotective or paranoid.  Medically I have a book saying it's ok but a midwife saying it's not, the FSA and NHS websites both say no. 

Right, decision made.......drum roll......I'm not going to eat rare steak - for now.  If I get actual cravings for it later on in pregnancy then I probably will because baby knows best but at the moment, when I would just be eating it for me, I will hold off because I don't want to end up beating myself up if 'the worst' does happen. 

Bah humbug.  Where's the chocolate? (in limited amounts of course, wouldn't want to have too much caffeine!)

Tuesday 7 September 2010

11 Weeks and 4 Days

According to 'the rules' it's too soon for me to be telling people that we're pregnant in case 'the worst' happens.  I've never been particularly good at keeping my mouth shut though, especially when it's good news, so hopefully waffling on about my first pregnancy here will relieve the tension.  In all honesty, I have already told my immediate family and friends and, frankly, I don't see why I shouldn't.  If 'the worst' does happen, I'm going to need their support anyway.  Plus it's taken more than 18 months to get to this point and the moment I refuse a glass of wine they'd all guess anyway. 

Despite having told the people closest to me, I still find it incredibly hard not to shout it from the roof tops, announce it on Facebook, tell business associates and so on (I must admit I've already told my accountant - I just couldn't resist).  This little miracle in my belly is the only thing I can think about and I'm already incredibly boring about it - I can't imagine just how tedious I'll be once the baby is actually born. 

You have been warned......

92S49KFDKMT3